Okay, Scandy, I accept your challenge!

Scandy of the fabulous blog Scandalous Housewife (http://www.scandaloushousewife.net/) has presented me with a challenge and I am up for it. It is much more difficult than it looks on the surface. Here goes:

"Your ship has sunk. You have, of course, been stranded on a deserted island. You have salvaged a copy of the King James Version of the Bible and a copy of the complete works of Shakespeare. Nothing else. “The very next day you find one of those Arabian Lamps in the sand. Of course, you rub it and, of course, a rather grumpy Genie appears. “‘Let’s get this straight - there is a recession going on. There are restrictions on the three wishes now. I don’t do water or air transport now so no boats, planes or magic carpets. As for electronics, forget it. There isn’t the infrastructure on this island. “‘I can let you have one book and I mean one VOLUME, one essential item and one luxury item. Now hurry up and make your choices, I have to get to those five other islands you are going nominate. "

Book:The Complete Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Essential item: A pharmacy? Oh pooh! No infrastructure on the island. Well, how about a never ending supply of fine wine?

Luxury item: An unlimited supply of La Mer products to keep my youthful glow together with a hot blooded tall, dark and handsome Argentine man to apply the products and pour the wine. If that counts as two items, give me La Mer!

Okay, so what would your items be?

My challenge goes out to the following fabulous bloggers:

1. A Dating Diary- I know you have a new job but please share!

2. The Kitchen-Okay Momma! I know you have a real sense for fantasy.

3. A Blondie Moment- I know you have a great imagination.

4. Pretty on the Outside-Please illustrate your answers.

5. Real Housewife of Maryland-J, looking forward to hearing what you have to say!

Cougar Barbie!!

Even Barbie is now a Cougar.......we have arrived!

Perez Hilton Spoofs Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers

I heart Perez Hilton. The following link is to a cartoon spoof on http://www.perezhilton.com/ about Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers. If you are the least bit sensitive, conservative or do not like sexual inuendos or foul language, do not click on the link or you may have a stroke. Personally, I think it is a total riot. Enjoy!

http://perezhilton.com/tv/index.php?ptvid=8bd6992cfcf7b

Real Housewives of Atlanta Scoop- Kim's Website and Atlanta Panel Discussion

The Atlanta Journal Constitution reports that three of the Real Housewives of Atlanta, Nene Leakes, Sheree Whitfield and Lisa Wu Hartwell, held a "panel discussion" at South Dekalb Mall this past weekend. What a fiasco that must have been. I do not even know where South Dekalb Mall is and I live in Dekalb County. Suffice it to say that I am certain that the Housewives have never shopped at South Dekalb Mall.......the high end stores being Express and Payless. However, now that Sheree and Nene may have lost their homes, they may be reevaluating their shopping preferences. Maybe Sheree will have to wear "She by Sheree". It is my understanding that Sheree never did have a show at NY Fashion Week.

In other news, our girl Kimmie's website (http://www.kimzolciakonline.com/) was taken down for alleged non-payment of fees. She states that she fired her PR representative, Jonathan Jaxson, who is also her webmaster. He is the ex PR rep for Kim Kardashian and Michael Lohan. He also suspended MLo's website. See the picture above borrowed from Amy Grindhouse's blog http://www.amygrindhouse.com/. Looks like we have a pattern here, JJ! Jonathan is notorious for a longstanding feud with one of my favorites, Perez Hilton. Sounds like solid sleaze DB factor! He still lists Kim as a client on his website. Kim--- dump JJ and get yourself a solid PR representative. And make sure that Big Poppa gets you a kick ass attorney. I will go Team Zolciak for this debacle.

"More than 250 “Real Housewives of Atlanta” fans peppered three of the women with questions Saturday at a Gallery at South DeKalb mall panel discussion.
V-103 host and moderator Ryan Cameron apologized that the discussion started 30 minutes late, blaming it on Sheree Whitfield.
While there wasn’t a huge amount of news, NeNe Leakes (who got the biggest ovation and chants of “NeNe! NeNe!”) said the show’s second season starts shooting today. She also said they are being paid “in the six figures” for doing the show, but wasn’t more specific.
Leakes offered her theory why DeShawn Snow was booted: “You need a bigger-than-life personality. She just didn’t have it.”
None of them knew (or would say) who the fifth housewife was going to be to replace Snow." Atlanta Journal Constitution 2/22/09

Did Harry Hamlin Really Let Lisa Rinna Leave the House Looking Like This?

WTF was Lisa thinking? I cannot believe she actually looked in the mirror, thinking she was hot and left the house with that hot tranny ghetto fabulous hair and makeup!! She obviously has had too much work done....and is a close second to Jocelyn Wildstein, the cat lady!

Lisa's lips are bigger than ever, she has the frown lines like the joker and her cheeks look like someone pumped some air in to them. Hands down, she wins for the scariest face! Maybe she can join a tranny show in Vegas!

The Off Label Use for Hair Weaves... Bullet Deterrent!

Now I have heard everything! The next time you make fun of a bad weave, keep in mind that the weave may save your life from gun shots!

Friendship Performance Reviews, Cutbacks and Layoffs.

When you find your life in turmoil ,as mine has been over the past few months, you discover many things about yourself and also about who your friends really are. In the past few months, I have had to put down two beloved pets, care for my aging mother and father through surgery and alzheimers, respectively. Couple this with a business slowdown in this horrible economic climate and you wonder what can go wrong next.

I couldn't have made it through these trials and tribulations without the support and love of my friends. I have some really great friends whom I have mentioned on my blog. They were there for me, holding me hand, comforting me, crying with me, drinking mass quantities of wine with me, cooking for me and just being available and loving. You know who you are and I love you so much! A million thank yous!

On the other side of the coin, you find out who aren't your true friends. In this time of cutbacks and layoffs, I have decided to cut back/cut off/terminate my friendship with certain people. These are the fair weather friends...... faux friends........phonier than a faux Chanel handbag. They are there when you are having a party. They are there when you invite them to concerts. They are there when you take them out to dinner and drinks. They are there when you travel and you bring them along because you have a comped hotel room, food and drinks. They are there when you go shopping and buy them a present you think they might like for no reason whatsoever. They will call you complaining about their bad husbands, boyfriends and jobs....especially when you are busy at work without regard for what you might be doing and never ask how you are. They try to suck you into their vacuous worlds.

But they are not there when you really need them. They show no compassion, care or concern. It is all about them. These people are total narcissistic takers. I do not need to hang with people like this. I would rather have a select group of true friends rather than a large group of true friends and faux friends.

My advice for the day.....evaluate your friendships from time to time. Sometimes you have to make personal cutbacks. Throw out the faux friends like you would the trash. It is cleansing and good for the soul.

Adios, faux friends......I feel so much better without you!