Saturday, May 31, 2008

Welcome Back My Long Lost Friends

I took the day off from work yesterday to see Sex and the City in its premiere showing in Atlanta. Manolos...check. Cool jeans and shirt.....check. Chanel bag....check. Good and Plenty candy...check. The movie was FABULOUS! If you are a fan of the SATC tv show, you will love the movie. It was a bittersweet, emotional roller coaster ride. Crying one minute and laughing the next. Honestly,even in the sweet scenes of the movie, I was moved to tears. The theater was packed with SATC fans of all ages, colors and sizes. But one characteristic was abundantly clear....each person was a die hard fan of SATC and you could see this by the the sense of style and smile exhibited by each person. I didn't want the movie to end. Eveyone clapped at the beginning and the end of the movie. Now I can't wait until the DVD comes out so I can watch it over and over again. Viva Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda. I feel an element of each one in my soul.

Friday, May 30, 2008

Thursday, May 29, 2008

How to Fall Out of Love

I thought I would share this interesting article....we all need this advice every now and then....

1.Make a list of all the reasons it wasn't meant to be. The number one reason should be that you are worth someone who loves you and who thinks you are awesome. It's always flattering to have an admirer, but you deserve better than to just be somebody's ego boost. Other reasons may include incompatibility, especially when you imagine yourself spending the rest of your life with this person and remember the ways in which you clash on a regular basis. Human memory can be selective, and you may find yourself dwelling on that first kiss in the park, or that time when you laughed till you almost cried...but also remember the times when you felt neglected, unappreciated, betrayed, or even deeply annoyed.

2.See their faults. Nobody is perfect. The longer you hold on to the idea that this person is perfect, the harder it'll be to get on with your life. It's completely possible that you're idealizing someone just so that you can have a fantasy to hold on to. You should accept that this person is not perfect, and definitely not perfect for you -- because the perfect person for you would think as highly of you as you do of them.

3.Think of what you want from a significant other that you didn't get from this person. Was he or she arrogant? Cold? Controlling? Write down the opposites of those traits (humble, warm, and empowering) and put them wherever you can see them often. Not only will you see what this person didn't have, but you'll learn from this experience and look forward to finding someone who better suits you.

4.Ask yourself if it was really true love you were feeling for this person. Read How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust. If you recognize that it was infatuation or lust rather than love, then you will have an easier time letting go.

5.Remove as many traces of their presence in your life as you can. This is very, very difficult but also very important. Ask friends and family to help you sort through things and put anything that reminds you of him or her in a box. If you want to give these things back to the person, mail them--don't give it to them in person and torture yourself. An alternative is to bury the box (presuming it won't contaminate the water supply), burn it (with caution), or throw it (forcefully) into the dumpster. The physical act of destroying reminders of them may help your emotional side catch up.

6.If you lived together, consider redecorating. Even moving furniture around can help dilute those feelings that will inevitably surge when you wake up without them next to you. If it's possible and necessary, you might even consider moving.

7.Distance yourself. You won't want to, but staying close to someone you want but can't have just isn't healthy. Don't tell the person or anyone close to them what you are doing, as they might try to convince you otherwise. Just try to get away for a while. Don't call them, don't go places where you know they frequent, and make yourself scarce. Take the time to reflect on your situation and learn more about yourself.

The object of your affection might notice you are distancing yourself from them. They will try to get you to see them more. Say you have been really busy with all of these new activities. Tell them you have other things to do, too. You must have a life separate from theirs. Don't answer their calls and don't call them or text message them. You will be tempted to, but don't.
Don't assume after distancing yourself for awhile that you are over it. Be careful to make sure you are fully over this person before you see the person again. Otherwise all your progress will be undone, and you'll be back at square one.

If this person was an unhealthy influence in your life (controlling, manipulative, abusive, etc.), cut them out completely. There's no obligation to stay on good terms with someone who made your life miserable, even if they didn't mean to. They may try to make you feel sorry for them in order to keep you wrapped around their finger. Cut off all ties and move on.

8.Practice thought stopping, a technique that helps you to become more mindful and in control of what you think (or don't want to think about, as the case may be.) When you notice a thought has popped into you about the individual, say to yourself or aloud, "Stop!", as a reminder to divert your attention. Visualizing an image such as a stop sign may also help. Then, choose something else to think about that is pleasant. For example, notice how the sun feels on your skin or what the breeze feels like passing by. Look at the clouds in the sky, notice your breath, or the sounds of people talking around you. Become aware of your body and how you feel in it. These will all take your mind off of your thoughts of her/ him in a tangible and effective manner. It takes practice and may feel awkward at first, but with time it is a very effective way to move on, not to speak of feeling and being more empowered by having acquired a powerful new skill.
Do all the things you've ever wanted to do, that you wouldn't have done if you were still with this person. Did you always want to take a tango class, but didn't because he or she "doesn't dance, period" and you didn't want to go without them? Did you want to go to that car, fashion, or antique lamp show with your friends, but felt reluctant to spend your day off with someone other than your love? Did you want to travel to an exotic country, but your partner didn't want to go because it's too hot/dirty/boring? Maybe--probably--there are ways in which the relationship held you back. Now is the perfect time to focus on those missed opportunities. Do whatever you can to feel better about yourself. Exercise, eat well, take a class, meet people, go to parties, have fun. Life is too short to spend it pining for someone who doesn't see you for the great person you are. There are those out there who will.

9.Mingle. While you are distancing yourself from said object of affection, try to meet new people who share similar interests. If you choose to date, avoid the temptation to settle for whomever asks you out, just to distract you from your old flame, or you might end up making someone fall in love with you whom you don't love back!

Understand that the feelings may never fade completely. You felt close to this person at one point in your life, and while you can eventually realize emotionally that you've grown apart, you will probably always have a soft spot for him or her. At some point, it may be possible to remain friends, but mind the boundaries and don't let your heart fall back into it.

You might want to compare everyone to the object of your affection, and you won't think anyone measures up. Stop this right now. You know there's someone better out there.
Distancing yourself includes staying away from the other person on online sites such as MySpace and Facebook - delete them as a friend, that way you won't receive any updates inadvertently.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

2 Days Until Sex and the City!

I am a huge Sex and the City fan. I can really relate to the characters as I have lived and breathed some of the same experiences as shown on television. When SATC ended, I felt as if I had lost one of my best friends. I had a void on Sunday nights and it really hasn't been replaced.

I have advance tickets for the first show in Atlanta on Friday. Yes, I will be at the 12:45 screening and am planning to take the day off in honor of Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda. Now I just have to figure how to smuggle my martini into the theater.

James Taylor is Chicken Soup for the Soul

I love James Taylor..........whenever I hear his music, I am in a good place.......mellow and chilled out.

I had the pleasure of seeing him perform at Chastain Park on Sunday night. I went with CIT and her husband, my second GBF and Color Goddess, the colorist who works wonders on my color and highlights. If you want natural looking color and highlights, email me and I will give you Color Goddess' name and phone number. She is with one of the snooty salons in Buckhead( although she is not that way at all). She works wonders with blonde hair color and I can never figure out who is a natural blonde. I have light brown hair with blonde highlights. I used to have dark brown hair but the color and the curl are gone!

Back to the subject at hand, the weather was spectacular and Chastain was packed. My second GBF, who is a caterer, prepared some wonderful appetizers and of course we had more than enough wine. In fact, we started our personal party at my house at 6pm so we had a 2 hour jump in catching a buzz. JT sold out 3 back to back shows. He played from 8:10 until 10:45 with only a 20 minute break. You have to remember his is over 50! His voice is still youthful and melodic. He has gone bald but if I close my eyes I can remember how cute he looked on Sweet Baby James, the ultimate JT album of all times.

Ofcourse you are not permitted to bring cameras into Chastain but that didn't stop me from taking some great photos. Those of you who know me know that I never like to follow the rules. I posted the picture in which he is singing directly to me. :)

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Eternally 21................

Yes, I am over 35 years old, but I still watch MTV and VH1. After a day at the office, almost nothing can be better(well I can think of a few things) than sitting down with a large glass of wine and watching mindless television. I am cougar enough to say that I have taped the Real Word, Rock of Love and even The Hills! I love the Real World. This season, in which the cast lives in Hollywood, is one of the most compelling in a number of years. Drinking, bar hopping , partying and sex........a perfect way to spend your 20s. I can write a book about all of those topics because I was absolutely a wild child. Bad choices, good doesn't matter. It has made me a wiser cougar with alot of fond memories.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

What happened to my 'hood?

I love living in the Murphey Candler Park neighborhood. Until this past December, it was one of the best hidden treasures in Atlanta. The focal point of the neighborhood is a nice lake and a great 1 1/2 mile trail around it through the woods. Very peaceful and serene. A great place to picnic or walk your dog or to jog or just feed the ducks.

As an avid dog walker and exercise fanatic, I know most of the regulars. About 5 years ago, a psycho invaded our private nirvana.....he and his dog periodically lived in a van in the parking lot of the pool. It was evident he was a certifiable nutcase/whackjob and my internal radar told me to keep away. Over the years, he learned the name of my dog and called her by name. At times I worried that he watched me walk home and knew where I lived.

Can you guess who this is? Gary Michael Hilton.....the serial killer who killed Meredith Emerson, a young woman hiking in the North Georgia Mountains, a nurse in Florida and a couple in North Carolina. Yes, I know a serial killer. He was literally a stone's throw from my home for 5 years and the police did nothing to prevent his crazy behavior and verbal attacks on my neighbors.

Tonight on the news I learned that there is another psycho hanging out in the park. They showed a picture of him with his face blurred. He is following young children into the restrooms at the ballpark. What is wrong with the Dekalb County Police? Why don't they just apprehend him and prevent future problems.

I am saddened by what has transpired in my 'hood. Now I am afraid to walk the trail around the lake alone. Do not ever depend on the Dekalb County Police. They suck big time.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Jumping Back on the Bandwagon.....No More Dateless in a Down Economy

I have been absolutely remiss about posting on my blog lately...come to think about it, I have been remiss about alot of things lately......... ie. having a man in my life other than my male running buddies. Thanks to our poor economy, I have been enmeshed in the minutae of being a small business owner......taxes, accounts receivable, cash flow, marketing and every other boring aspect you might dream of. All of this leads me to believe that I cannot develop new relationships when I am having troubles at work. Is it too much to ask to be a baroness in the boardroom and a feisty cougar in the dating game?

Why is it that I cannot concentrate on both the social and business aspects of my life in a down economy? These are things I did not learn in micro or macro economics.

So here you see it in writing, I am jumping back on the dating bandwagon. Yes sir, I am going to force myself to go out on a date. I think I have blown off at least four potential "Mr. Rights" in the last month. Hopefully, I can step in and recruit them again. I certainly don't want to remain dateless in a down economy.

And while I am making promises, I vow to blog on a more regular basis. And hopefully, I will have some fun, juicy stories to share.